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Post by MJ Ferruzza on Jul 5, 2008 8:24:46 GMT -5
From Darrell
> > 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO > HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. > > 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING > THE SINK. IT ALL GOES TO THE SAME PLACE ANYWAY. > > 3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A > FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. EVEN GEORGE > WASHINGTON DID THIS! REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER. > > 4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM > ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON. > > 5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE > AFRAID TO COUGH. > > 6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE > AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE. > > 7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM. > > DAILY THOUGHT: > SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING > A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.>
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